*Phew*

So the interview's done and over with. Self-criticizingly speaking... I'd give myself about a 6 out of 10. I'm hoping the Pete-something who conducted the interview was ranking me on a smaller scale.... like say out of 6 maybe

Hey... a girl can hope, can't she? :/

And here's a request for more prayers please. I know I'm putting too much into this... effort and hope..... but bear with me please.

Role reversal

Regret was to be your epitaph
As triumph was to be mine

Returned lost life, instead your wrath
Mine, solitude divine

:: I wish I had as much control over my life as I do over my words. Blah.

APC

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Okay, I just had to put this one up after all the comments I received for the first song I put up here. An old favorite... the just-can't-get-them-out-of-my-head type that resides on the top of my 'Mind-Fuck' playlist and shall forever remain there.

A Perfect Circle - Passive

Dead as dead can be
The doctor tells me
But I just can't believe him
Ever the optimistic one
I'm sure of your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up and face me
Don't play dead 'cause maybe
Someday I will walk away and say
You disappoint me
Maybe you're better off this way

Leaning over you here
Cold and catatonic
I catch a brief reflection
Of what you could and might have been
It's your right and your ability
To become my perfect enemy

Wake up (Why can’t you?)
And face me(Come on now)
Don't play dead (Don’t play dead)
'Cause maybe(‘Cause maybe)
Someday (Someday) I will walk away and say
You disappoint me
Maybe your better off this way

Maybe your better off this way (x3)
Your better off this (x2)
Maybe your better off...

Wake up (Why can’t you?)
And face me(Come on now)
Don't play dead (Don’t play dead)
'Cause maybe(‘Cause maybe)
Someday (Someday) I will walk away and say
You fucking disappoint me
Maybe your better off this WAY!

Go ahead and play dead (GO!)
I know that you can hear this (GO!)
Go ahead and play dead (GO!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (WAKE UP!)
Why can't you turn and face me? (YEAH!)

You fucking disappoint me

Passive-aggressive bullshit...

Defining 'me'

Bovine

Main Entry: bo·vine / me
Pronunciation: 'bO-"vIn, -"vEn
Function: adjective

1 : of, relating to, or resembling bovines and especially the ox or cow
2 : having qualities (as placidity or dullness) characteristic of oxen or cows

Arooj Aftab - Mera Pyar

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Although I'm the biggest fan of the original, I have to admit - this one really rocked. It's a funkier, more upbeat, less melodramatic version of its original. I may very well be the last person in Pakiland (and elsewhere) to have heard this, but I felt I should share it with those of you who have the time (and appropriate connectivity) to trust my taste in music . The lyrics are the original's....

Amir Zaki - Mera Pyar

Mera... tumhara
Wo ghar... Humara

Toota hai bikhra hai
Jaisay sitaara

Meri awaz sun lay na
Meri geethon mein tum
Wo alfaaz chun lay na
Jo ho jathay hain gum

Mera pyar tumhi ho
Tumhi tho ho... jaana
Meray saath tumhi ho
Tumhi tho ho
Bhula na
Mera pyar tumhi ho

Waaday... Iraaday
Kaisay.... Bhula dain

Toota hai jo dil
Wo ro-ay rula day

Meri awaz sun lay na
Meray geethon mein tum
Wo alfaaz chun lay na
Jo ho jathay hain gum

Mera pyar tumhi ho
Tumhi tho ho... jaana
Meray saath tumhi ho
Tumhi tho ho
Bhula na

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.

- Peter McArthur

P.S. I don't know about the world, but this city sure seems to be full of 'em darn satirists. *grumble*

Prayers needed

Another normal sa day. Been down in the dumps lately and feeling all on the edge and like there's no tomorrow (or that I wouldn't like there to be one). But I got the best news I've gotten in monthsssssss last night in my inboxxx... turns out I have a phone interview for this training program I applied for in my companyyyyy where if I get selected, they send me off to Amsterdam for a year on (get this) on-the-job paidddd traininggg and then also hire me when I come back on a permanent basis - atleast until I screw up and they're forced to fire me! WooHOoOoOooo (((: Not really getting my hopes too high about it, but I'd have to be pretty stupid to NOT get selected considering that I'm one of well.... just about the only (minus 1 person) person in the some-500 that may have applied for this program throughout the country, that actually works for the same company and has a huge edge over all the other much-smarter, but way-unluckier people! Note: I say I'm lucky (and not just plain awesome) cause I've studied from a not-so-great-or-recognized university and the only people applying for this thing so far are people from top unis like LUMS, Fast, NUST, GIKI... you get my drift? So it had to be poor luck that got stuck bailing me out of no-future-land by giving me this chance.

Blog, bloggers, bloggees... be prepared. I will know by the end of May. And as my boss said.... 'If you make it to the interview, that's your own personal achievement, it shows that your hard work over the years and your intelligence got you that far.... but if you don't make it PAST the interview, that would be entirely your own fault (insert hidden message: cause you'd be a dumbass if you still didn't know enough about this company to be able to impress its employees with your knowledge, you idiot).' Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, but whatever happens, come hail, sleet or snow (did I get that right?) you shall be the first to know! After hysterical me ofcourse (be it hysterical with khushi or with tears... only time - and common sense - will tell)

But yeah, I know one thing for sure.

If I don't get selected... I'm not telling him :P

*Hums Alanis Morissette's 'Hand in my Pocket' and dances away into cyberspace*

Memo me

Remind me of how much I hate you. I seem to have forgotten.

Again.

?

Brain-freeze, heart-freeze, body-freeze, sab-freeze.

*Chorus of sighs rises from crowd of tortured reej-blog-readers*

I heard that. Hmpf.

I fear I'm fast approaching the limit of my own personal perseverance. I'm fast approaching the moment of truth and I get the feeling I won't like it. I'm rocketing head-on towards a world I don't want to enter, where there is no 'you' or 'us' or 'we'. Only me.

I'm afraid of solitude. I don't want to be this alone. I don't want to say goodbye..

Most of all, I don't want to not feel a single thing if I do.

Stop the world, I want to get off!.... :(

Kabhi jo tumein meri yaad aye
To kuch ashaar meri yaad mei likh daina
Par kabhi na kisi say kuch kehna...
Agar kabhi koi tum say mera poochlay
To hans kar usko taal daina.
Agar ho sakay to meray khat jala daina
Meray unn phoolon ko jheelon mein baha daina
Kabhi jo tumhe meri yaad aye
Tho takiyay mein chhup kar aansoo bahaa laina
Phir mujhay yaad karke muskuraa daina...
Meri khubsoorat tasveeron ko
Dil ke naqshon say mita daina
Aur unhein phaar kar kaheen jala daina...
Par kabhi na kisi say mera zikr karna.

Kabhi jo tumhein meri yaad aaye
Tho ek khwaab samajh kar bhula daina...

If I knew

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep
I would tuck you in more tightly
And pray the Lord, your soul to keep

If I knew it would be the last time
That I see you walk out the door
I would give you a hug and a kiss
And call you back for one more

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word
So I could play them back day after day

If I knew it would be the last time
I could spare and extra minute or two
To stop and say 'I love you'
Instead of assuming you KNOW I do

If I knew it would be the last time
i would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more
So I can let just this one slip away...

For surely there's always tomorrow
To make up for an oversight,
And we always get a second chance
To make everything just right

There will always be another day
To say our 'I love you's
And certainly there's another chance
To say our 'Anything I can do?'s...

But just in case I might be wrong
And today is all I get
I'd like to say how much I love you
And I hope we never forget

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone
Young or old Alike
And today may be the last chance you get
To hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow
Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes
You'll surely regret the day...

That you didn't take that extra time
For a smile, a hug or a kiss
And you were too busy to grant someone
What turned out to be their one last wish

So hold your loved ones close today
And whisper in their ear
That you love them very much
And you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say
'I'm sorry', 'Please forgive me', 'Thank you' or 'It's okay'
And if tomorrow never comes
You'll have no regrets about today

*Ignore the sappiness and think about it*

With all due respect

I will tolerate every tantrum, put up with every nakhra, pacify every narazgi, cater to every desire for attention, exercise the show of importance and its likes, succumb to the belief of every half-witted whim you've ever mustered from your beautiful head....

But pride, I will not fall prey to.

I need not / can not / will not put up with it any longer.

So yeah... you can stuff it up your backside now.

Sorry men

Every day I wake up with a groan, proceed to unconsciously tap the 'snooze' button on my phone 3 times at 5-minute intervals and then drag myself out of bed and get dressed with my eyes half open and my mind half shut into the tiniest of tiny shirts and the biggest of big shalwars.

Every day before I reach the breakfast table, I am greeted by a disapproving look from my mother that clearly says, 'tumhari kameezain bohot choti hoti jaa rahi hain larki' before she utters the dreaded words from her mouth.

Every day I argue that every girl wears what I wear and nobody thinks it's weird but mother dearest.

Every day I walk through the huge main gate of the building my office is in... (along with more than 500 others).

Every day I am greeted by a welcoming party of about thirty men (married, single, bi, homo, metro, selfo sexual) eyeing every inch of me as if they had been praying for a woman to 'finally' enter that place and I had been the miracle God sent down to bless their eyes with (even though one just did about 10 seconds ago... but they've forgotten her already haven't they? Or maybe moved her to some remote corner of their brains from where they will extract her later on for further scrutiny and unimaginably-disturbing fantasizing).

Every day it takes me about a minute and thirty seconds to get through the door and through the scanner-thingee that checks to see if I have explosives on me and every day I heave a sigh of relief as I enter.

Every day I am struck by the realization that I sighed too soon, as I am further sub-greeted by a flock of random men of all professions (guards, gunmen, clerks, receptionists, waiters, yes.. even plant-waterers) turning to look my way as if they had been deprived of feminine beauty (?) for too long to have borne it any longer.

Every day I make a dash for the third floor, not even wanting to imagine the third category of men that may be awaiting my arrival at the elevators.

Every day I enter my office, wondering if my mother could have been right.

Today I woke up with a groan, proceeded to unconcsciously tap the 'snooze' button on my phone 3 times at 5-minute intervals, dragged myself out of bed and got dressed with my eyes half open and my mind half shut into the longest of long shirts and (as usual) the biggest of big shalwars.

Before I reached the breakfast table, I caught an approving look on my mother's face saying 'shukar hai, thori akal ayee'... before her mouth has time to utter it.

The rest was the same. Blah.

Men.

Baybeh baybeh

Happpppppy buddayyyyyyyy Bloggy babyyyyyyy! :))))))

I wuv jUuuuuuuuu!

Yahoooo Samsunggg

The great thing about the Samsung D500, is that when you hang up on someone, it really sounds like you've hung up on him / her... either that, or it sounds as if you've given them a good, resounding slap.

Great effect, great results :D Woohooo

Chai

Work-tea is very distinctively distinct from home-tea. I wonder why... :/

AND it always tastes better.

*Grin*