It's that lump-in-the-throat sadness again. A wave of unfathomable nostalgia overcomes me. I don't know what it is I'm missing... but I want it back.
What have I become, my sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down,
I will make you hurt.
It sounds so simple. But it's about more than just people and relationships and emotions and unreciprocated feelings, isn't it? Yup... it always is. It's more about the internal battle within me. Battle? I think the battle just sort of ummm dissolved a long time ago... I'm not quite sure of whether to be joyous of my victory, or to be confused as to why I floated above the dirt rising from the sword fight in the desert of time that I was, *dhuzz*, right in the middle of not so long ago. I'm not quite sure I like what I see from up here. I'm not quite so sure I don't. The second thought is the scarier of the two.
When did I drift into this oblivion. I feel very suspiciously... (and disturbingly!) like one of those Indian whatchamacallits that walk over burning coals and don't feel a thing, emerging on the other end of the road with a big toothy grin on their faces, seemingly oblivious of what they have achieved. Is it even an achievement, or my life's biggest loss.. the loss of feelings?
Can't complain.
It all seems real, but I'm dreaming.
It's all over, but I'm still reeling.
Yaay, I rhyme. I don't feel, but I rhyme..... it's progress...
I think.
5 comments:
The loss of feelings is a damn good thing! :P Trust me on that one! Feelings are what kill you every single damn time! Sometimes I think I'd give anything to be the woman in the stories that dread all over innocent man's heart and leaves him high and dry while she blissfully moves on to next candidate!
It sure as hell beats it being the other way around! Dontcha think?
true true... :) provided there is a man in the picture! but there is no man here...
just the loss of feeling.. hmm
hey
girls, feelings shameelings...
we all got enuff of em to feel the quake. if not, then we can force ourselves to feel it. it was a richer 7.5 after all.
me have set up a website jsut for that. i notice you two have not been visiting often... hmmm :) ... but you can help in a cause. Ideas suggestions comments spreading-the-word all welcome.
its at momekh.com/earthquake/
hope all of you are keeping well and alive. right? *gulp*
yay for girlpower-trampling-over-men-crap!
now that that's done...
Yay for numbness... My numbness is only a shallow facade though... because I feel everything. Every single damn thing. And it hurts.
But even so... i would prefer the scarring and the pain to the numbness... Sometimes though, when the scars get thick enough, there are certain places that are numb. I guess my solution to that is to digg deeper.
Do something amazingly emotional chootu.... Without really thinking. What you need to learn to do is... DIVE
(and now for that annoying word verification thing you have turned on... agggh... so annoying)
hmmm amazingly emotional huh? like propose to u for the umpteenth time? :// n get an amazingly blah reaction and get amazingly emotional all over again? ;) *HUG* thanks for commenting motoo
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